I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
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