as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
