I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
Randomize
