Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Randomize
