Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
Randomize
