It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
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