The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
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