none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
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I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
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he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
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