Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
Randomize
