i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
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