She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize
