im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
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