you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
