oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
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