Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
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