we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
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