so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
