Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Randomize
