Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (734): View more from Michigan

  What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (734): What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo? http://tfl.nu/r7wm
  Replies (27) Good night (3455) Bad night (1515)
• Favorite

  (719): View more from Colorado

  then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (719): then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime. http://tfl.nu/to8a
  Replies (7) Good night (4213) Bad night (870)
• Favorite

  (213): View more from California

  How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (213): How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know. http://tfl.nu/sm0x
  Replies (15) Good night (3737) Bad night (827)
• Favorite

  (703): View more from Virginia

  relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (703): relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks http://tfl.nu/2hg2
  Replies (3) Good night (3950) Bad night (929)
• Favorite

  (616): View more from Michigan

  He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.

  (1-616): View more from Michigan

  Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (616): He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science. (1-616): Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world! http://tfl.nu/0fvx
  Replies (10) Good night (5060) Bad night (851)
• Favorite

  (504): View more from Louisiana

  open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (504): open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me http://tfl.nu/k62l
  Replies (1) Good night (2288) Bad night (917)
• Favorite

  (518): View more from New York

  The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (518): The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke. http://tfl.nu/afl9
  Replies (6) Good night (544) Bad night (2519)
• Favorite

  (505): View more from New Mexico

  Hows that studying goin for you?

  (1-505): View more from New Mexico

  I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (505): Hows that studying goin for you? (1-505): I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil http://tfl.nu/rkj1
  Replies (5) Good night (1840) Bad night (677)
• Favorite

  (812): View more from Indiana

  If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (812): If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours http://tfl.nu/smol
  Replies (3) Good night (1471) Bad night (553)
• Favorite

  (914): View more from New York

  I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (914): I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj http://tfl.nu/ijru
  Replies (5) Good night (1381) Bad night (391)
• Favorite

  (314): View more from Missouri

  "Functional." Your standards for how you feel after drinking are so high.

  (1-314): View more from Missouri

  When your night starts by chugging margarita and drinking vodka out of tupperware, I feel it's best to stay realistic.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (314): "Functional." Your standards for how you feel after drinking are so high. (1-314): When your night starts by chugging margarita and drinking vodka out of tupperware, I feel it's best to stay realistic. http://tfl.nu/714c
  Replies (2) Good night (864) Bad night (347)
• Favorite

  (425): View more from Washington

  Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (425): Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you http://tfl.nu/3zbf
  Replies (2) Good night (691) Bad night (318)
• Favorite

  (214): View more from Texas

  MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.

  (214): View more from Texas

  SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (214): MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME. (214): SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME. http://tfl.nu/sfja
  Replies (12) Good night (1094) Bad night (362)
• Favorite

  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  im in the post action - pre consequence stage.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (215): im in the post action - pre consequence stage. http://tfl.nu/y2lc
  Replies (3) Good night (841) Bad night (316)
• Favorite

  (706): View more from Georgia

  Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (706): Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit? http://tfl.nu/7qwr
  Replies (6) Good night (1159) Bad night (321)

Randomize