It's Friday. Sex?
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
These 23 People Walked In On Someone And Saw Some Crazy Sh*t
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
I will be naked everywhere
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
Confessions From 23 People Who Have Been Hiding Terrible Secrets
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.