Texts From Last Night

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  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this

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  (978): Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this http://tfl.nu/fyek
  Replies (18) Good night (3859) Bad night (783)
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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.

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  (203): It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag. http://tfl.nu/0795
  Replies (16) Good night (3621) Bad night (573)
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  (804): View more from Virginia

  I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities

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  (804): I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities http://tfl.nu/vh2c
  Replies (16) Good night (4015) Bad night (596)
• Favorite

  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.

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  (617): Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar. http://tfl.nu/mo7u
  Replies (8) Good night (3636) Bad night (580)
• Favorite

  (201): View more from New Jersey

  Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.

  (1-201): View more from New Jersey

  HOT DATE.

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  (201): Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day. (1-201): HOT DATE. http://tfl.nu/4vki
  Replies (11) Good night (3715) Bad night (1449)
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  (615): View more from Tennessee

  I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America

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  (615): I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America http://tfl.nu/yesg
  Replies (20) Good night (4213) Bad night (924)
• Favorite

  (248): View more from Michigan

  you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."

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  (248): you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion." http://tfl.nu/tkud
  Replies (12) Good night (5565) Bad night (1226)
• Favorite

  (516): View more from New York

  he has the hands of the vagina gods.

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  (516): he has the hands of the vagina gods. http://tfl.nu/xhgv
  Replies (12) Good night (4570) Bad night (929)
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  (563): View more from Iowa

  Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.

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  (563): Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience. http://tfl.nu/j0u8
  Replies (6) Good night (3379) Bad night (730)
• Favorite

  (586): View more from Michigan

  I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.

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  (586): I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science. http://tfl.nu/0s8c
  Replies (6) Good night (1413) Bad night (646)
• Favorite

  (925): View more from California

  I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great

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  (925): I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great http://tfl.nu/slai
  Replies (1) Good night (660) Bad night (786)
• Favorite

  (561): View more from Florida

  I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly

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  (561): I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly http://tfl.nu/d11t
  Replies (12) Good night (848) Bad night (583)
• Favorite

  (339): View more from Massachusetts

  I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.

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  (339): I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever. http://tfl.nu/09i5
  Replies (1) Good night (719) Bad night (240)
• Favorite

  (920): View more from Wisconsin

  I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me

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  (920): I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me http://tfl.nu/4kao
  Replies (1) Good night (575) Bad night (238)
• Favorite

  (937): View more from Ohio

  He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling

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  (937): He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling http://tfl.nu/peso
  Replies (8) Good night (841) Bad night (219)

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