idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
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Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
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He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest