I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.