the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
I think your dad took our porno
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
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