my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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