carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
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