Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
