What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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