Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
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