she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
I can't put those talents on a resume
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
