Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
Randomize