Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
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