When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
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