You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
it's like heaven, but drunker
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
Drunk walkin through police station. America
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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