Non-Jews are for practice
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Randomize