Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
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