And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Randomize
