My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
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