you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
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