Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
Randomize
