i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize
