i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
Actions speak louder than pants.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize