My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
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