IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
I want you more than these girls want KFC
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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