Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
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