Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
Randomize
