After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
Randomize
