I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
I'm currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
just to let you know, that was probably the funniest text i've ever received.
I suppose that kind of helps fill the void where my self respect used to be.
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
Randomize
