Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
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