im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize
