Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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