So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
i will never coherently bang her
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
Randomize
