I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
Randomize
