Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
I will die if light touches me.
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
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a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
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Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
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