Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this