Texts From Last Night

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  (804): View more from Virginia

  is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?

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  (804): is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair? http://tfl.nu/58ri
  Replies (14) Good night (777) Bad night (2659)
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  (404): View more from Georgia

  He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.

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  (404): He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like. http://tfl.nu/89fc
  Replies (40) Good night (519) Bad night (4137)
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  (914): View more from New York

  after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.

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  (914): after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him. http://tfl.nu/2bsg
  Replies (41) Good night (725) Bad night (6283)
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  (646): View more from New York

  I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.

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  (646): I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot. http://tfl.nu/r2lr
  Replies (17) Good night (6368) Bad night (987)
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  (424): View more from California

  he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety

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  (424): he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety http://tfl.nu/36fw
  Replies (12) Good night (3554) Bad night (852)
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  (785): View more from Kansas

  The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am

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  (785): The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am http://tfl.nu/qtcn
  Replies (11) Good night (2571) Bad night (1532)
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  (770): View more from Georgia

  Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.

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  (770): Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers. http://tfl.nu/y8q2
  Replies (9) Good night (2010) Bad night (1496)
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  (914): View more from New York

  friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day

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  (914): friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day http://tfl.nu/igko
  Replies (5) Good night (2282) Bad night (766)
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?

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  (303): Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing? http://tfl.nu/qv8w
  Replies (12) Good night (1504) Bad night (949)
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  (316): View more from Kansas

  Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....

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  (316): Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips.... http://tfl.nu/9ril
  Replies (3) Good night (1212) Bad night (658)
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  (402): View more from Nebraska

  Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.

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  (402): Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night. http://tfl.nu/4fcf
  Replies (3) Good night (1195) Bad night (532)
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  (954): View more from Florida

  Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk

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  (954): Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk http://tfl.nu/mlfk
  Replies (3) Good night (301) Bad night (619)
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  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways

  (425): View more from Washington

  so just a regular conversation then

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  (412): It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways (425): so just a regular conversation then http://tfl.nu/ie13
  Replies (0) Good night (452) Bad night (220)
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  (304): View more from West Virginia

  I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.

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  (304): I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned. http://tfl.nu/jnka
  Replies (5) Good night (774) Bad night (254)
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  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.

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  (+44): apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer. http://tfl.nu/j569
  Replies (3) Good night (626) Bad night (225)

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