Texts From Last Night

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  (734): View more from Michigan

  y did u give ur computer a hand job?

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  (734): y did u give ur computer a hand job? http://tfl.nu/nk4j
  Replies (4) Good night (793) Bad night (960)
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  (212): View more from New York

  I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.

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  (212): I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants. http://tfl.nu/n3gu
  Replies (50) Good night (5935) Bad night (1644)
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  (319): View more from Iowa

  went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.

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  (319): went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there. http://tfl.nu/ufbv
  Replies (9) Good night (3696) Bad night (906)
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  (678): View more from Georgia

  he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.

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  (678): he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people. http://tfl.nu/q5y8
  Replies (33) Good night (1013) Bad night (3707)
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  (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.

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  (832): I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes. http://tfl.nu/wfe6
  Replies (34) Good night (857) Bad night (4453)
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  (804): View more from Virginia

  Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.

  (571): View more from Virginia

  was that a mass text??

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  (804): Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing. (571): was that a mass text?? http://tfl.nu/0791
  Replies (60) Good night (11232) Bad night (2535)
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  (651): View more from Minnesota

  saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.

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  (651): saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort. http://tfl.nu/ekj0
  Replies (17) Good night (3901) Bad night (1025)
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  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??

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  (603): As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right?? http://tfl.nu/yy40
  Replies (32) Good night (4118) Bad night (1197)
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  (207): View more from Maine

  That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"

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  (207): That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain" http://tfl.nu/84lt
  Replies (3) Good night (1592) Bad night (913)
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  (404): View more from Georgia

  I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro

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  (404): I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro http://tfl.nu/8m8i
  Replies (5) Good night (1245) Bad night (717)
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  (707): View more from California

  Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.

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  (707): Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life. http://tfl.nu/o39j
  Replies (6) Good night (1479) Bad night (544)
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  (310): View more from California

  Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.

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  (310): Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack. http://tfl.nu/hyp4
  Replies (7) Good night (728) Bad night (1483)
• Favorite

  (315): View more from New York

  Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?

  (518): View more from New York

  Its called bad cop laid cop.

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  (315): Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for? (518): Its called bad cop laid cop. http://tfl.nu/7dnl
  Replies (9) Good night (4005) Bad night (823)
• Favorite

  (+31): View more from The Netherlands

  Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.

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  (+31): Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night. http://tfl.nu/bd92
  Replies (0) Good night (711) Bad night (270)
• Favorite

  (512): View more from Texas

  Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.

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  (512): Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale. http://tfl.nu/qpyu
  Replies (1) Good night (703) Bad night (397)

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