I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Randomize
