Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
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