I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
