Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
Sex in the backyard? Check.
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
