Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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