I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
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