do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
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