best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
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